I think s/he was reincarnated as a bug and some woman swatted him/her with a fly swatter! 😅😅😅😅
I think his cousins found out what his true intentions were and they beat the crap out of him or he got frisky at a family reunion and got thrown in jail or his mother found out about his impure thoughts towards his cousin and now he's on restriction for life.
Mommy took his phone away.
He was recalled to his home planet, Susan. (orbiting somewhere outside the Kuiper belt).
Got humped by cousin.
In traction in the hospital. Cousin Thumper was crossing the road and came into intimate contact with a fast moving Mazda bumper which was driven by his cousin.