I used to lend freely but I've lost so many valued books over the years that I'm now reluctant to do so.
I tell to go to the library
I don't have a problem lending my books as they are e-books and I'll get em back regardless! Mwhahaha!!!!
I also have leant out books with the understanding that I was lending, not giving, to no avail. I've never gotten them back. So, I don't lend any longer, especially books that hold special meaning for me. I direct them to the library if they want to read a certain book.
If there is a book I want to keep I will not lend it out, but I may buy a copy as a gift. Most of what I read is of the guilty pleasure type. Of mystery/romance. They are not great works of literature, but are fun, easy reads and a great escape when needed. I have just given those to others to read. I ask they either pass them on to another friend or to donate them.
Same as it is for lending money … never lend anything you aren't willing to gift.